Absurd

Around two years ago, a friend and I were walking past the school bus. It was hot and sticky, and sweat had easily made me wish to get out of the place as quick as possible. My friend then turned to me and asked me about this girl he really liked.
"You know what, Kev? I think I'm in love."
The guy was 15, younger than me by a few months, I almost laughed at the thought. I told him back.
"Of course not! That's completely absurd!"
He just smiled and we walked it off, escaping from the exhaust fumes and the burning steam.

Now I get it, I think.
I liked her for how many, 7 years? I loved her the next 3.
I can't seem to be able to explain it, my mind is wrenched just as much as my heart. There used to be a time when I could easily strike up a conversation with her, have a friendly walk down the entrance street of the school. There used to be a time when it was so easy to make her smile, and when she did it was so easy to make me smile as well. Now I half-heartedly avoid her, mostly because she's been ignoring me. I don't know, but God knows I've tried to set things right, but every time I see her my entire mind blows up and I'm left a drooling shell once containg a sensibility I used to be so proud of. So many things I want to say to her, but the moment I started was the moment all the problems began, and now where am, half-wishing that she wouldn't be so great and wonderful and that once in a while she would so something so mean, so terrible, that I may finally stop loving her because of it. But I know she won't do that, I wouldn't love her if I know she would. So now I go through the days in self-repair, still a wreck no better than the day before. I sorely wish I could just instantly piock up the pieces again but that would take time, and a time with the provision of her not being anywhere in sight. Bu of course she always is, not because I see her everyday at school, but because I see her everytime I close my eyes. They should really start teaching people at school how not to think instead of the other way around, I'm sure even that would come in really helpful.

So that's a bacis gist I guess. In the end of the day, I'm boroken like I always am, telling ymself with a smile that I'd get over it. I would go to the bathroom, open the faucet, brush my teeth.
I'd look at myself in the mirror, face haggard and eyes sunk with more than just simple fatigue. "Look at what love is doing to me, can this really be love?"

Then to my surprise my reflection opened its mouth and answered.
"Of course not! That's completely absurd!"