My Head on a Silver Platter

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Quickie Reviews and my NEW BLOG!!!

Well, it's been a while since I posted much of anything. Which is quite a surprise since I usually try to find time. So to make up for it, I'm unveiling a new blog of mine! www.vitaars.blogspot.com.

There I will be posting more personal and insightful things like my thoughts on life, god, politics, self, happenings around me, women, drugs and sex. Okay, maybe not those last three, but the others are a good start. Think of it as a personal Dear Diary for me while this one here is my babble on stuff you'd actually care to read about, like when will Transformers 2 release or is Lohan crazy or what?!

Anyway, here's some very quick reviews of four films I've just watched in the last couple of days.

17 Again

I saw the trailer expecting a complete trainwreck, cementing Zac Efron as a one hit wonder, a nameless member of a cast destined to disappear after their all too quick stop in the lime light. I thought this movie would suck. Well, consider me surprise to find out that, no, it did not suck. That's probably the best compliment this film will get out of me, though considering my bedrock low expectations, consider it a tremendous leap. Efron shows a hint of comedic talent and timing, perhaps a bit of promise that I did not see in any of the HMS flicks. Matthew Perry, sadly, is only around for such little time, it's disappointing to see how underrated the man is these days. The jokes range from amusing to being actually funny, though some of the romantic scenes between Zac and an older actress tends to be a bit too awkward for my taste. Nonetheless, I didn't have a bad time. In fact I had a decent time. It's not that you should go out and see this film, in fact it's perfectly alright to watch it from your room. But if you've got nothing else better to do at the mall, this isn't really that bad a choice of a film to spend an hour and a half on.

6.5 out of 10

Marley and Me

This movie is a sweet surprise, though is surprisingly lacking in actual laughs. The trailers showed this off to be a comedy but in reality, it's a sweet ballad to life, love, family and loyalty. It's a movie filled with so much honesty and optimism that goodie-tooshoes will eat it up. As a cynic and a critic, one might find the antics, the doggie drama and the melodramatic scenarios to be tedious and boring but dog-lovers will lap it up. People such as me. I'm not afraid to admit that I teared up in the end and that it is reminiscent of movies guys would hate because they love it. Still, it's a decent film that you should give a try.

7 out of 10

Monsters V.S. Aliens

I was totally hooked in Dreamwork's entry last year, Kung Fu Panda. It was the closest they ever got to Pixar, perhaps even a bit better than Pixar's lesser. Sure it was no Ratatouille or Wall-E or Finding Nemo, but it was good, and I'll be dammed if it wasn't gorgeous. So I was a bit disappointed that this year's entry was neither as beautiful or as heart-felt, but it's good nonetheless. Definitely better than the Ice Age and definitely a a good entry. It's hilarious and cute, a good animated film for sure. But I guess that's about it. Great fun in terms of entertainment, but in terms of value, isn't doing anything to further the art.

8 out of 10

Crank 2: High Voltage

Pure, unadultered, sick and stupid fun. It was completely impossible and for a large part of the first film, it made a complete fool of itself and that was why it was so popular. It's now wonder this movie did not show itself to critics, it seems impossible to think that any respectable critic worth his salt will say any kind word about this film. But then again, this is also the kind of movie that is critic-proof since it wasn't meant to be that kind of film. In fact it's meant to be the complete opposite and it does that extremely well. This is a testosterone filled ode to the idea of fun for guys maxed to the extreme. I cannot imagine any girl who might enjoy this movie and guys, there is no way in hell you should allow them to see this lewd, gross and one hell of a fun time. Still, after the first film this is starting to get tedious and I'm starting to think that is being to overstay it's welcome. Still if you guys are into this sort of thing then you might as well give it a shot.

6 out of 10

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Watchmen Review!!! So is it worth your time?

Watchmen

Directed by Zack Snyder
Starring Jackie Earl Haley, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Patrick Wilson, Billy Cudrup and Malin Akerman

Oh Watchmen, Watchmen... what will I ever do with you? After a long screening of a full 163 minutes, Alan Moore's masterpiece has been translated, finally on screen. We have finally seen the unfilmmable film. And what is the consensus? Frustratingly delighted.

While I will not go so far as to call the film a success, it is by no means a disaster either. The fact of the matter is, the film is one of highly polarizing ingredients. But one thing for sure, is that it is by no means a normal superhero movie, just as the Dark Knight was not and just as the original Graphic Novel was not.

Fanboys may be a bit warmer to the film than anyone who had not read it before. It's clear, since in the cinema I watched it in, most of the people stood up to leave before the credits even rolled. It's not an indication of a bad film, it's simply an indication of wrong expectations. Do not come in expecting an action-packed (though it does have its fair shair of guns and brawls). Instead, Zack Snyder follows a complex narrative that follows so fervently the panels of the graphic novel, so much to a fault. What results is an overly complex, indulgent and saturated story that manages to drag somewhat in the middle section.

This is perhaps Snyder's greatest fault, his refusal to stray from the comic page. The graphic novel was full of flashbacks and cutscenes. It had hundreds of little nuances and effects that only a graphic novel can execute, and Snyder attempts so fevershly to translate it all on screen. I can't help but feel that the movie would have fared much better had Snyder taken some artistic liberties and allowed the film to flow more naturally in a coherrent timeline. One of the greatest moments of the film was one in which Snyder took full artistic responsibilites, the opening sequence and credits, which follows a montage of gorgeus scenes depicting an America gone wrong. These scenes were absent completely from the graphic novel, but were envisioned so perfectly and exectuded so beuatifully, it makes for one of the best opening scenes in quite a while. I can't help but imagine just how better a film Watchmen would be had Snyder employed the same bravado in the latter areas.

I don't care too much also for some of the music chosen for the film. Zack Snyder seems to have put together a variety of old songs that range from brilliantly fitting to simply awkward. This showed even in the trailers in which the first featured a spine-chilling rendition of Smashing Pumpkins' "The End is the Beginning of the End" while the second trailer simply seemed poorly placed to the tune.

Then there's the actors, some of which are terribly miscart. Adrian Veidt, the world's smartest man, is now also the most cynical. A far cry from the gentle, peace-loving philosopher of the novel. Akerman certainly plays well the role of on-screen whore, and while her sexuality is evident, her acting still leaves much to be desired.

Still, some give an admirable performance, from an sad, sexually insecure Wilson as Niteowl to a tragic yet hate-filled turn from Morgan as the Comedian. Yet it is Haley as Rorsharch that steals the show. He is essentially to this movie what Joker was to The Dark Knight, a driving force of the narrative, a scene chewer and the backbone of the haunting message Watchmen delivers in a tour-de-force of depressing emotions. He ranges from frightening, a psycopathic vigilante and is basicall Batman gone wrong. Yet he can turn from lunatic to a broken soul in an instant, and his scenes are definitely among the most powerful moments of the film.

Then there's the story, driven together by Snyder's trademark visuals that are visually striking and haunting. While in its essence, the film lacks much of the punch of the graphic novel, aesthetically it is a beautifully engineered carbon copy. And that is a very good thing.

Still, when it comes to the story, it lacks, as I said, much of the punch. Perhaps its due to the flawed narrative, or the changed ending, or simply the acting of some of the characters, but in the end, Watchmen comes across as an indulgent film on the verge of fanaticism in terms of its fathfulness to the source material. If ever there was the case of a film being TOO faithful to its source, its Watchmen, because in the transition, it loses much of the subtler emotions the spring across, and the final, dark message in the climatic finale is much blunted. Make no mistake, it was a powerful experience, and my body was numb in what was perhaps the film's greatest moment. But even as I sat in awe at the finale, I can't help but feel that it lacked a certain key ingredient, and it was only later that I discovered what it was: meaning. The film attempts to be so much more than what it is, and instead falls so much shorter.

In the end, Watchmen is by no means a disaster. In fact, I'm pretty sure I loved it. But it is not the ultimate Watchmen film we have been waiting for, though its a pretty damn good effort. It would have been a great film had it not been hampered down by such prominent flaws. Still, I have to give props to Zack Snyder. He may have been erratic and fanatic in his execution, which led both the film's greath highlights and shortcomings, but at the very least his ambitious undertaking and rigorous faith in the source material is highly admirable. And in that case, this what the end result is: a highly admirable film that falls short but delivers just enough great moments that it wants to make me watch it again and again just for the experience.

7.5 out of 10

By the way, recently released are THREE brand new spanking trailers! Harry Potter 6, Up and Star Trek! Give em all a looksie!

Harry Potter 6

Star Trek

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

MOVIE TRAILERS GALORE!

Alright, a quick add on are the following movie trailers that have popped up recently. These trailers are all awesome, and if you've been hyped about seeing your first look at Transformers 2 or anything else, here's the best place to catch up. I'm including some old trailers of upcoming movies just in case you guys want as well

TERMINATOR SALVATION

STAR TREK (with alternate ending)

THE EDGE OF LOVE

TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN

INGLORIOUS BASTERDS

WATCHMEN

WOLVERINE

HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE

ANGELS AND DEMONS

LAND OF THE LOST

G.I. JOE: RISE OF COBRA

NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM: CUEAW OF THE SMITHSONIAN

HANNAH MONTANA: THE MOVIE

FAST AND FURIOUS

GHOSTS OF GIRLFRIENDS PAST

THE SOLOIST

CRANK 2: HIGH VOLTAGE

A COLLECTION of 2009 MOVIE PREVIEWS

Friday, February 27, 2009

SUMMER MOVIE PREVIEW: MY TOP TEN

It's that time of year again. It was only a year ago that I made a list very similar to this, and boy was last summer great. Summer tends to give out the biggest blockbusters and moneymakers of the year, but last year Hollywood upped the ante. It started off with surprise smash hit Iron Man and ended with the now legendary Dark Knight. And in between were Hancock, Indiana Jones 4, Wanted, Wall-E, Kung Fu Panda, Incredible Hulk and Tropic Thunder. One would think it was a summer that can't be replicated. But here comes Hollywood refusing to go down without a fight, leaving most of us asking, "What economic recession?"

So here it is, my top ten most anticipated films of the summer

10. Monster v.s. Aliens

Directed by Rob Letterman and Conrad Vernon
Starring Reese Witherspoon, Seth Rogen and Hugh Laurie

Release Date: March 26, 2009

While Kung Fu Panda last year was Dreamwork's little gem that took everyone by surprise, they attempt this year to recreate that success with not one, but two movie. The first is Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs. That film, however, is edged out of this list mainly because of two things. 1.) It's overdone dog-heap and 2.) Dreamwork's other film is a far funnier and refreshing film. At least that's what it looks like for now. With a very straightforward concept of Aliens and Monsters kicking each other's butts, the trailers were both ammusing and promising. In fact it is similar in terms of hype with that of Kung Fu Panda, with a great voice cast to match (Dr. House as a Cockroach? Genius!), the mere fact that Kung Fu Panda made it much higher on my list last year than this film does this year is just a stiff reminder of just how stiff the competition is. I beg you people, forget Scratt and those prehistoric numbskulls, their living out their welcome. Instead, watch this, and convince Dreamworks to follow their current trend, which revolves around the simple idea that concept trumps colorful drawings.

9. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

Directed by David Yates
Starring Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson and Rupert Grint

Release Date: July 17, 2009

This is another film that, under a more boring summer, would usually pop out in the upper echelon of my list. Instead it takes a bit of a backseat. Don't let that fool you though. While I was never an all out fan of the movie series, I'm not blind as not to notice a considerable improvement with the series. Each film certainly has its flaws, no question about that, but I've come to believe that as the series sinks deeper into mature, adult territory as the book series has done, it also becomes wildly intruiging in both concept and execution. The book series was glorious fun the first half, style over subtstance over the middle, and dangerously dark, grim and tragic in the final chapters. The film series is following this trend, which gives rise to the idea that its success may depend on whatever book its based on, and if that's the fact, then we're in for a twisted treat. I've always thought that while The Half-Blood Prince was very lacking in action, it more than made up for it with one of the most shockingly grim storyline in the series. I yearn to finally see Harry step into adulthood in the film, and hope dearly that they get it right.

8. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Directed by Michael Bay
Starring Shia LeBeouf, Megean Fox

Release Date: June 24, 2009

Transformers is one of those sure fire hits that no one shouuld ever underestimate. Sure, you can go right ahead and overestimate, its easy to do with the substance-devoid series, but you have to understand its mass appeal. But that's easy to do, incredibly easy, actually. In fact, you can sum it all up into three basic foundations of success for transformers. The three B's: Bots, Babes and Booms. Hey, who wouldn't watch a film ridiculed with the biggest explosions and dizzying action possible onscreen, done so by a variety of shape-shifting giant robots. All the while Megean Fox runs around flaunting her ass--ets... You know what I mean. This coming after the fact that she had just finally broken up with her boyfriend (whose name she tattoed on her vagina. Whoa, will that be awkward for her eventual husband/life partner). Still, it's got all the ingridients for a brainless blast. So if there's any of you out there who are looking for the big no-brainer, here you are. Personally, I'm happy this is the only no-brainer in the list. We will always need a no-brainer blockbuster, but really, we only need one. Transformers is the man for the job.

7. The Soloist

Directed by Joe Wright
Starring Robert Downey Jr. and Jamie Foxx

Release Date: April 24, 2009

There really is only one reason this film ranks higher than the previous three-sure-fire hits. Robert Downey Jr. He's the hottest star out there right now, yes, hotter than Johnny Depp. He's the comeback kid, and both his films last year were huge hits. I'm not so sure that The Soloist will be the same, at least financially. But at the very least, it's a perfect opportunity for Robert to flex his drama chops with this guy buddy drama that once again highlights the crucial fact that the guy loves himself black bff's. Still, both are great actors, and this coming from the director of Atonement, well we're in for a real treat. It may not be your cup of tea, in fact it might not even be mine. But seeing as this is the first Robert Downey film at least until his Sherlock Holmes role later this year, we might as well take whatever we can get from the guy. He's a virtual goldmine right now.

6. X-Men Origins: Wolverine

Directed by Gavin Hood
Starring Hugh Jackman

Release Date: May 1, 2009

My inner fanboy is giving my inner cynic a good kick in the ass right now. I mean, c'mon! Wolverine standing at only number 6? But that's just the way it goes folks, and there's only one to blame for the low standing- Marvel. There has been horrid talks over the last few months that the producers have been making demands on director Gavin Hood, and that there have been many arguments due to the insistent creative limitations being imposed. I suppose they want a big bang bullet-riddled bonanza while Hood wants a more story-lined approach. Whatver the case, it's stupid that they limit the talented Hood like that, and reports are saying the movie is worse off because of it. Don't let that get you too down, however. Producer intervention or not, Gavin Hood is a very capable director while Hugh Jackman is one talented SOB. Both have expressed their utmost desire to make this movie the best it can be. Add in a slew of new mutants from Blob, Deadpool, Silver Fox and the ever elusive Gambit, and we have here the Marvel film of the year.

5. Public Enemies

Directed by Michael Mann
Starring Johnny Depp and Christian Bale

Release Date: July 1, 2009

First off, who wouldn't want to see Captain Jack Sparrow square off with Batman. It's been a while since we've had any gangster films. Sure there were some mob films, but as in Al Capone style gangster flicks? It's been a while. And finally, Hollywood's seen the gap, and they're making up for it in a big way. First they get genius director Michael Mann (Heat, Collateral) whose film was Nolan's inspiration for Dark Knight. Then you get the two huge stars, both of which are talented actors in their own right. It's hard to get a better formula for success than that. Sure it isn't as big-named as others on this list, but mark my words this is probably one of the few sure-fire great films of the list.

4. Terminator Salvation

Directed by McG
Starring Christian Bale and Sam Worthington

Release Date: May 21, 2009

When I heard that the man who directed Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle was doing the new Terminator movie, I thought for sure the series was doomed. I mean, part three was horrible, but at least it tried as much to get back the old magic. I was expecting pure crap. But then the news that Christian Bale came out. Then I my interes was piqued. Then the artworks came out, along with that god-awesome mobile poster. Then came the Comic-on in which McG actually made sense in how he described the film’s storyline. It was becoming increasingly clear that they were taking this one seriously. Then the trailer arrived, and lest we beheld a dark future for the universe. It’s by no means a sure hit or a guaranteed quality movie, but so far it’s been looking better and better to the point that I’m actually excited enough to place this film this high up the board. Bravo, McG. Bravo.

3. Up

Directed by Pete Docter and Bob Peterson
Starring Edward Asner and Jordan Nagai

Release Date: May 29, 2009

Whenever Pixar decides to unleash one of its films, there is absolutely no reason not to trust them. If they announce that their next movie centers around a sterile homophobic frog trying to assassinate Paris Hilton, then you can be assured a genius film. Here we have yet another feel-good classic in the making, and all signs point to Pixar domination for years on to come. The competition doesn’t even come close, and these creative bastards seem to have a hidden warehouse filled with brilliant ideas. These guys have a mission, to weave beautiful, heart-warming stories that universally breathes life into our dull, dreary life. Damn those fascist animators!

2. Star Trek

Directed by J.J. Abrams
Starring Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Karl Urban, Eric Bana and Simon Pegg

Release Date: May 8, 2009

Normally, Pixar takes this spot, or maybe even the top, but I’ve decided to put this film right on top mainly because of one thing:intrigue. I know what to expect from Pixar –genius. But this film is highly volatile in the way that you’re not exactly sure what they have in store for you, but all signs point to just damn awesome. Take note, this isn’t your Dad’s Star Trek. Nor is it the same Star Trek that have been with us for decades. Sure it features the same characters (albeit with younger actors) of the original series, but one look from the trailer and you know that J.J. Abrams is on a mission to make it cool once again to be a Trekie, especially in this generation. After watching the original series, I have to say I’m psyched beyond compare to finally see this film and see what exactly they have in store for us. Stardate out.

1. Watchmen

Directed by Zack Snyder
Starring Jackie Earl Haley, Jeffrey Dean Morgan and Malin Akerman

Release Date: March 6, 2009

If there’s one film that defied the impossible, it’s Watchmen. When first released, the comic, dubbed the greatest one ever made, was called unfilmable. And for decades it was. Then 300's Zack Snyder came along and brought it up, unrelenting, uncompromising, and smartly as close to the novel as possible. The trailers are amazing, and if there is any successor in Dark Knight's mantle for a comic movie that pushed the boundaries of the genre, it's this. That also makes it unimissable. So grab the comic, watch the film and enjoy the graphic bonanza.