Valentine's Eve

Alright it's friggin Valentine's Eve and I'm in a bad mood to start with. Well how the hell can I not? With the Passion Play going to hell, every drop of blood in my vein is burning at boiling point. It's @#ing fiasco! And now, we are talking major changes.. this late!? Hell no, we're all going to bury ourselves. My mood couldn't possibly had gone worse. That was until I realized it was frigging Valentine's Day Eve. Whoopde-#$^&$ing-doo!
You know, I never really liked the holiday all that much, but I never really hated it. That was until today. Now I'm loathing it. I just realized again how much I love her and how on this day of all days I'm powerless to do anything about it. I want to do so many things for her, just to make her smile or laugh, to help ease the problems that plague her to do anything for her. But I don't have that right, I don't deserve that right. I really want to send her flowers, even single simple rose, just to let out a touch of the fire inside killing me slowly from the heart. But I'm afraid dammit, last time I tried to show my feelings I failed miserably and nearly permenantly turned what was barely hangin of our friendly relationship into shreds, and now that I've managed to salvage what I can Iam in danger of falling for it again. But if I choose to be safe, would I regret it? The answer is yes. I'll hate myself for being a damn coward and chickening out of giving at least a bit of the love I want to give her. It twists me, turns me. It destroys me. It is the unconceivable, the irredeemable. It is a catastrophe, a plague. It is a blessing, a gift. It is love. I hate Valentine's Day.
.....
Tomorrow morning. I'll buy a rose. A single rose. And I'll keep it in my bag. I'll hold it as she sings. And if I find my courage, I'll give it to her, albeit anonymously. Although deep down, I know that she'll know who it would come from. And more than anything else, that's what scares me....

All this... in a tremendously busy Valentine's Day Eve.

#%^# you Cupid...

Random Poem

A Secret
By Evol

Eralced od i, redaer raed snoitalutargnoc!
Erab dial ev’ouy elddir elpmis siht ot rewsna eht
Terces a otni detsiwt niap a s’efil rof,
Terger ylerus evah ti dloheb ohw esoht.
Evlover sevil lla hcihw ot terces siht si tahw.
Evlos ot nam yna rof gnireffus hcum oot.
Od uoy wonk i dna rewsna eht wonk ot hsiw uoy fi,
Eulc lanif siht ot snoitcurtsni eht wollof tsuj.
Emag elttil ym rewsna ot desu ouy dohtem eht,
Eman s’rohtua elbmuh siht htiw oder uoy geb i.